9 TO DIEThe Wild West
What is The Wild West?
The Wild West is floor 5 of 12, and its phrase is "It's the Wild West out here." It opens when you win The Silos with that department. Its enemies are 40 percent stronger than the first floor's. Its final boss is High Noon, at 16:00.
Welcome to Sales!! It's the Wild West out here!! Coffee is for closers!!
Which bosses are on the calendar?
Four calendar bosses book this floor: Cold Call, The Quota, The Commission Plan, The Reorg. They arrive at 3:45, 7:30, 11:15, 15:00 in that order. High Noon closes the quarter at 16:00, and beating it wins the floor. A calendar boss still standing at the next booking leaves without paying out.
| Clock | Boss | Slot | Base health | Phases |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 3:45 | Cold Call | Calendar | 780 | 4 |
| 7:30 | The Quota | Calendar | 900 | 3 |
| 11:15 | The Commission Plan | Calendar | 820 | 3 |
| 15:00 | The Reorg | Calendar | 1100 | 3 |
| 16:00 | High Noon | Final | 3200 | 4 |
What is the hazard, and is there a secret?
The hazard: Every 90 seconds the clock strikes twelve: anything standing still takes the draw, and the horde takes it too. It runs for the whole quarter, so plan your route around it. This floor also hides one secret, which appears on the floor during Monday Morning.
Hint: Somebody has been keeping the honest numbers out of sight. Read them and the targets stop wandering about.
Tips from the floor
- Keep moving at noon.
- Expense Reports run. They are worth the chase.
- Cold Call can't be hurt while it holsters the phone. Wait, then hit it.
Who is in the cast?
21 kinds of enemy work this floor, and 3 of them are elites, marked with a yellow-and-black band. The swarm arrives first, tougher kinds join as the weeks pass, and specials turn up on their own schedule. Numbers below are base figures, before the clock and the floor multiply them.
| Enemy | Tier | Health | Damage | Speed | What it does |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ping | Swarm | 2 | 3 | 3.1 | arrives in a sudden burst on a timer |
| Quick Question | Swarm | 3 | 4 | 2.7 | arrives in a sudden burst on a timer |
| Friendly Reminder | Swarm | 3 | 4 | 2.5 | walks straight at you |
| Calendar Invite | Swarm | 3 | 3 | 2.6 | stuns you when it touches you |
| Circle Back | Standard | 8 | 7 | 2.3 | circles you and bites when you stop |
| Expense Report | Standard | 8 | 5 | 2 | keeps its distance while it attacks |
| Recruiter | Standard | 8 | 3 | 2.4 | keeps its distance while it attacks |
| Timesheet | Standard | 10 | 5 | 2.1 | steals your XP, runs away and drops double when caught |
| Status Report | Standard | 9 | 5 | 1.6 | walks straight at you |
| Daily Stand-Up | Standard | 10 | 6 | 1.7 | forms a ring around you and closes it |
| Culture Committee | Standard | 9 | 4 | 1.3 | stuns you when it touches you |
| Phishing Test | Standard | 8 | 4 | 1.7 | stuns you when it touches you |
| Scope Creep | Standard | 12 | 6 | 1.5 | walks straight at you |
| Vendor Demo | Tough | 55 | 10 | 1.1 | sprays a wedge of attacks from range |
| Stakeholder | Tough | 60 | 0 | 1 | makes everything around it stronger |
| Lipstick on a Pig | Tough | 40 | 9 | 1.6 | fully heals and renames itself at set health levels |
| Escalation | Elite | 150 | 13 | 1.5 | winds up and charges in a straight line |
| The Consultants | Elite | 70 | 10 | 1.7 | joins others of its kind into something bigger |
| Scrum Master | Elite | 180 | 12 | 1.4 | calls in more enemies on a timer |
| Moving Goalposts | Special | 30 | 6 | 3.2 | keeps its distance while it attacks |
| Reply All | Special | 6 | 5 | 1.5 | snakes across the floor, and kills add to its tail until the head dies |